My emotions have been bouncing into almost every category that exists – shock, curiosity, amazement, fear, sadness, delight, gluttony, ambivalence, anger and pain.
I’m just not sure how to respond to the package. Someone or a group of someones has been gracious and thoughtful for the last few months. My spirits dip very, very low on the 9th of each month. I wrote about it in this post, The Passing of the 9’s. I’ve been receiving packages, to my office, on the 9th of each month. Here is today’s package and note:
The notes have varied in exact wording, but the sentiment is always the same. Initially, I was shocked and curious. Mystery packages??? Anonymous cards??? Huh??? I have a certain panache for detective work, so I jumped into this puzzle with much enthusiasm. The originating company would give me no information, the shipping company wouldn’t give me any information, and the note itself said everything, yet nothing at all. ***deep sigh*** Hmm, I didn’t know what to think. A friend? A family member? A blog buddy? A STALKER?? ***Yes, yes, I rolled my eyes AT MY OWN DAMN SELF***
Then, I prayed over the berries, shared with my co-workers and delighted in all their goodness. And when I say goodness, I do mean good good goodness!! They were absolutely scrumptious!!
Then the next box came. And the next. And the next.
Each month, when the 9th arrived, so did a package.
Do they make me feel better? Worse? Indifferent? Honestly, I don’t know anymore. The 9th is a hard day for me. Do I love that others acknowledge the heaviness of the date? Absolutely. Do I hate that they remind me of the date? Absolutely. It’s scary to think that people will forget my husband and scarier still that many have already distanced themselves from me and my grief. Do I really want and need to be reminded that it is indeed the 9th? No! Yes!! No!! YES!!
I’m grateful that someone, or a group of someones, thinks so very highly of LittleTDJ and I. So highly in fact that they want to spend money on us monthly. I’ve sat and stewed over the mystery, as have my co-workers. I surely can’t figure out the identity of the sender and no one is stepping up to take credit (duh!! that’s why they sent it anonymously). Yet, I still feel as if I owe them a deep and sincere thank you.
So, to the person or persons out there sending me strawberries, Thank You. I have received them each month and regardless of how I feel when they arrive, I believe that I understand the honest and pure intention behind each package. I hope that you’ll understand the complexity of my emotions regarding them and not be offended by my honesty.
Whoever this person is…IS LOVE.
And they recognize it in others. LOVE.
All I can say is I Love You. ((Hugs))
They say love is an ACTION and these ACTIONS are speaking volumes!!! MUCH LOVE
I love the goodness of people. Kudos to them.
This is the sweetest thing ever. Goes to show that there are some good people in the world.
This is the nicest thing ever. Whoever it is, these are good people!
How thoughtful! This definitely restores my confidence in people because it has been seriously lacking. LOL
Also, your feelings are valid and your honesty is refreshing so I pray the sender(s) are not offended.
“It’s scary to think that people will forget my husband and scarier still that many have already distanced themselves from me and my grief.”
My best friend lost her sister last January. Everyone has moved on with their life and now I can clearly see how many people will distance themselves from a person’s grief. I try to check-in with her daily. I’ve made it my mission to be a sounding board for her whenever she is going through her dark periods. Keep surrounding yourself with those who support keeping your husband’s memory alive. God bless.
Beautiful sentiment. Seriously, this gives me hope in people since I am seeing so much selfishness.
this is so sweet. you are very loved honey
That is definitely showing love. So many people who go through grief feel that nobody cares after the funeral. It appears these loving people wanted to show you, after the crowd has left, there are still those keeping you in thought and prayer.
This is really sweet. I think the sender totally understands your feelings….
That love and understanding is really beautiful to see.
This makes me absolutely warm inside. I love that your husband is being remembered, that you are reminded that he is not forgotten. At the same time, I do get the no! yes! no! yes! of you and the 9s. And I LOVE the new layout.
That is very sweet and loving. I definitely understand your feelings behind it. Think of it like this, if you can, there is the unknown in the grief of your feelings on the 9th, there are the beautiful memories then they’ll be somewhat of an acceptance and hopefully peace. Let these beautiful gestures give you a moment of wonder at the unknown, a glimpse into the beauty of your memories and offer you peace & acceptance. Try not to think about who sent them, but about the brief happiness they’re offering you. A chance to feel some pleasure and specialness before your mind returns to your reality. Eventually those gestures may get you through a day, a week, a month…
I’m so sorry to hear of this. {hugs} My thoughts are with you.