Writing is very therapeutic and it makes me feel good. So many things have happened since my husband’s passing on June 9 that I couldn’t possibly blog about every single instance. Overall, I’ve received tons of love, prayer and support and I’ve chosen to focus on that rather than some of the uglier things. However, after the calls that I received last week, I changed my mind and decided to let a few things out.
Longtime readers, as well as friends and family know that MrTDJ and I came from two different worlds. He called my life, “The Cosby Show” and I called his, “Boyz In Da Hood”; two loving households, set against very opposing backdrops. Neither of us took offense to the others perspective. We agreed and laughed about the parallel yet dissimilar experiences often. He found it especially humorous that although I’m a Huxtable through and through, folks don’t recognize my gangsta because they let the bougie fool ’em. I’m nobody’s fool and when necessary, I can handle foolishness with a quickness. I’ve always had a good amount of street smarts and my dear husband helped to instill tons more into me over the years.
It seems that some folks think I’m 100% Huxtable and born yesterday without the ability to to know how “the game” is played. M’kay, they’ve got me confused with someone else. Just to be 100% clear – calling the widow of your deceased “friend” at 1am sniffing for signs of weakness is NOT o.k. Nope, sure isn’t. The convo went a little something like this:
MrsTDJ: Hello?
Vulture #1: Hey MrsTDJ
MrsTDJ: Who is this?
Vulture #1: This is Vulture #1, MrTDJ’s buddy
MrsTDJ: How did you get my number and why are you calling me so late?
Vulture #1: Oh, I got it from Vulture #2 and I was calling to check in on you and the little man. Seeing if y’all needed anything.
I scrunch my face up and consider the comments. I’m pretty sure that I’ve never spoken to Vulture #1 on the phone before. He certainly was not a “friend” of my husband’s. Acquaintance – yes? Friend – NOT! The audacity of the person that ponied up my cell # so easily along with his gusto to proceed with the call rubbed me all kinds of wrong.
MrsTDJ: It’s late and we’re sleeping. I’m not sure who you got my number from, but I’m gonna need you to never call me this late again.
Vulture #1: Oh, I’m sorry about the time. I know MrTDJ was a night owl, so…..Anyway, you know, if you need anything, I got you. I mean anything at all. I hate to see you all lonely and trying to raise little man by yourself, so if you ever –
MrsTDJ: Look dude. I’m not the one. Go prey on someone else because I’m not THAT type of grieving widow searching for a hero to take away the pain. Damn! And if I was, it damn sure wouldn’t be you. Please lose my f*cking number.
Later in the week, another call came in while I was driving. Again, lets be 100% clear – calling the widow of your deceased “boy” in an effort to fleece expensive electronics equipment from her is NOT o.k. Nope, sure isn’t.
MrsTDJ: Hello?
Vampire #1: Hey baby girl. How you holding up over there?
MrsTDJ: Who is this?
Vampire #1: Oh, this is Vampire #1. You know me and MrTDJ was boys.
MrsTDJ: I know who you are.
Vampire #1: Yeah, I’m still messed up behind him passing away so suddenly. I remember the last time I saw him a few months ago.
MrsTDJ: Uh huh. Is there something specific you wanted?
Vampire #1: Yeah, well Vampire #2 and I were rapping yesterday, and thinking back to rolling with him in that Suburban he loved so much. Man, that was a serious system he had in that truck. Everybody used to talk about that system. I know you’re not really into all that stuff, so if you were needing a friendly face to help take it off of your hands, Vampire #2 and I could help with that.
MrsTDJ: Oh yeah?
Vampire #1: Right, right. Most of that stuff only meant something to him, you know? Like it was a nice setup he had, but the parts didn’t cost a whole lot. So you wouldn’t make too much money off of it and we’d only take a small cut, but yeah, it’s the least we could do for our boy.
MrsTDJ: So, now trying to trick a widow out of material possessions is what’s popping in the streets? You and Vampire #2 can kiss my ass. Kindly lose my f*cking number.
**smh** Really y’all??? Really??? That’s the way the game is played, huh? Hmph. Well, I’ve got a different set of rules and folks don’t seem to recognize. I wasn’t the shrinking violet type before my husband’s death, and I’m damn sure not it now. In the moment, both of those fools irritated me, but in hindsight, I’m forced to laugh. I suppose they both really thought their cons would work. How sad but I’m happy that my sense of humor is not completely lost and I can see the comedy in their desperation.
Wow…. No words for this mess, but I like how you handled it! Praying for you and your son.
Smooches,
Regina
^5
Wow. Just…wow. You handled it do well. Those dudes are just losers. I just can’t even imagine getting calls like that. *hugs*
I don’t understand why people have the audacity to prey on people when they should be offering support.
I will keep your family in my prayers that you may continue to be strong courageous and loving during this time.
Interesting
You know I am CTFU…..right!? LOL Dayum vultures and vampires! Where is Grandma LouLou when you need her?!
Oh….so you just not gonna say nothing about the dot com, huh?
You did great, tell them no time for vampires, vultures or users. They aren’t finished, you will have to go straight old school ghetto….earrings, vaseline, the whole nine. A blanket party would help once you feel up to it. I’m sorry, I can’t stand users. Praying for you always.
You cussed them out just right!
Losers!!! You handled them wonderfully!
The nerve! I didn’t even know folks did this kind of stuff. Leeches I tell ya.
Wow! Really! seem like you handled it well. Glad you are keeping your focus and keeping your head up. love you and marcus! when you get the chance call me..
MrsTDJ …. Kudos to you! I don’t understand how they mistaked you for a fool knowing who you were married to MrTDJ….. Fools! Smdh!
I have no words. People are just so self interested all the damn time.
You handled it very well.
Some folks can be greedy vultures. Good for you, for making it known, that you are not gullible nor so polite that you will accept foolishness!
Unbelievable! I think you handled those situations well, probably better than most would have. I can’t believe the nerve of some people!
^^ *handled*
OMG is all I can say…..
That’s pretty low down!
O_O WDDDA??? Don’t sleep on Claire Huxtable! Remember when Elvin and Kenny would say something slick and she would flip the script??? Yeah…
What part of the game is that?! Kudos to you for going ghetto on them. Sorry ninjas!
Continue to be strong MrsTDJ. Know that I’m still lifting you and your family up in prayer.
People say and stupid sht , point blank. The audacity still astounds me.
The asking of material stuff happened to a friend of mine, through her stepfather’s illness and even at his funeral ! I’m glad you can handle your own. Take care of yourself and young master tdj.
SMH. You handled that way better than I ever would have!
*Pops yo collar for you*
LOSERS! Ugh
MrsTDJ….I love this post. Read em their rights sis. Vultures!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTHL0MAWkmY&feature=fvwrel
That. Is. All.
Oooh this makes me mad…people are really inconsiderate. Im glad you haven’t lost your sense of humor…
“He found it especially humorous that although I’m a Huxtable through and through, folks don’t recognize my gangsta because they let the bougie fool ‘em” Love this!!! I know exactly where you’re coming from. You handled it!
YOU ARE A BOSS! *drops mic walks out*
Loved it!!! God bless
iCan’t. I’m sure as the sun rises that you are going to have to go complete GANGSTER on a few more vultures, vampires…and soul snatchers before all is said and done.
wow. seriously. I can’t. I am so happy that you are strong enough to have your wits about you to see through the BS because a weaker woman wouldn’t. You are so strong. I’m still praying for you and the little one and I will now add to the prayer that the Lord keeps these horrible preying people away.
I’m trying to tell you. I have experienced this first hand. All you can do is laugh to keep from cussing somebody out.
Wow.. I’m lost for words on that foolishness. You handled those situations exceptionally. Ugh, the audacity of some people.
were they do THAT at! The nerve of folks! You did excellent! People are so about self that don’t even see what it is that they are doing…completely rediculous
I’m just catching up on my Google Reader, but these “men” are a hot mess! I can’t imagine someone stepping to a young widow with this crap. Good for you for staying strong! I know other women who would have fallen for both of these losers.
First of all, my condolences to you and your son. May God grant you peace doing this time. Second, my brother-in-law recently lost his wife to cancer. They also had 18 month old daughter. Unfortunately, when I got the news about her not going to pull through I immediately thought what my brother would have to endure. I called them “Peaches” (Think “Coming to America” the bar scene) I thought how they will come after him simply because he has a beautiful daughter, a brand new house, an excellent job, pretty much the American Dream made a reality. Even though he is very capable of handling himself, I, dear sister in law born on the Westside of Chicago raised in North Memphis, do solemnly swear to fight off any of them bovines that doesn’t seem right. I would do the same for you. Now where’s my roach spray?
Un freakiin believable. You handled that well. Hmpf.