Funeral Etiquette Lesson #102 – If selecting a family member to read the obituary, please let them know before their name is announced during the service.
Although writing the obituary can be a painstaking, albeit necessary process, it must be done. The experience is full of emotional ups and downs, as all will be flooded of the dearly departed, as well as others who have departed before them. Laughs, tears and never before told stories will be heard. Once the obituary is complete, and verified for accuracy (lest anyone forget step children or first marriages – oops!), it is ready to be submitted and printed in the funeral program.
Now, the decision as to who will read the obituary at the service. Contrary to popular belief (aka black Baptist folks), the obituary should be read by a member of the church, who is not a relative and has no deeply personal connection to the deceased. If however, the family would like another family member to read the obituary, that family member should be ASKED. Typically, this does not happen. Instead, the appointed reader, is completely oblivious that they have been drafted into service. The reader tends to find out upon arrival at the church, when he or she notices their name in the printed program.
More lessons to come.
Sigh.. it’s the way of the world Mrs TDJ. All you can do is smile and shine.
And people wonder why folks don’t want to bother with their own kin sometimes. lol
I find that when someone of the church reads the obituary it lacks compassion and sounds….just like whatever…but on the other hand depending on how close the loved on is to the deceased you can barely make out a word the person is saying for crying. I think that even though reading an obiturary seems to be an easy task the family should really consider someone who’s strong enough to do it and with the proper notice…ahhh. I dont even remember who read my daddy’s probably someone from the church!
There was so much drama surrounding my grandma’s obit like what you described, it’s not even funny. We know how to act a donkey when it comes to funerals, wakes and homegoing services, LOL
I think it should be an extended relative or close family friend. I couldn’t read the obituary it would be too hard. Good etiquette!
Sorry about the loss and the faux pas. WOW! But remember the Obit should be tasteful and true.