In case ya’ll didn’t know, I’m a wee bit hooked on reality television. Not all shows mind you, just the one’s that I listed here. So, I saw a preview for a new MTV show, Engaged and Underage and knew that I had to at least watch the first episode. Usually, it only takes one episode to hook me, but I had convinced myself that I would not get hooked on a new show. Uh, yeah, right, so obviously I’ve programmed my DVR and I’ll be watching this series. *lol* I’m hopeless! Anyways, on to the show. The title had me prepared to see folks in there teens getting married, but not quite. The couples are all between 18-22, which by today’s standard is “young” for marriage. But is it too young? To hear the family and friends on the show talk, hell yes. Well, some seemed supportive, but the common consensus seemed to be, “WAIT!”
Back in the day, folks got married at 13, 14, 15. Shoot, my Grandma LuLu was married at 14 
and had my oldest uncle before she was sixteen. But, is that simply “the way it was” and no longer the way it is? Are these “young” couples in the minority? It seems that more and more folks that I know are waiting until their 30’s to get married. By then, you’ve been dated, started a career, etc, so you’re ready to embrace coupledom. As my one girlfriend said, “I finally know who I am and I can offer my complete self to him and him to me.”
and had my oldest uncle before she was sixteen. But, is that simply “the way it was” and no longer the way it is? Are these “young” couples in the minority? It seems that more and more folks that I know are waiting until their 30’s to get married. By then, you’ve been dated, started a career, etc, so you’re ready to embrace coupledom. As my one girlfriend said, “I finally know who I am and I can offer my complete self to him and him to me.” But what if you fall in love and decide that you understand the commitment of marriage at say 18 or 19; why not do the damn thing? Kids today seem to grow up faster in some ways, yet more immature than previous generations. Hmm, interesting. On the opposite end of the spectrum, in an entry titled, “Kinda from my inbox: Ya’ll Been Dating How Long?”, Creole Princess is discussing how long you date someone with a traditional commitment.
What do ya’ll think? How young is too young? If you’re younger than 22, how long should you date before getting engaged? And once engaged, how long should you wait to get married? I know that every couple and every situation is different. And, I also know that there are always exceptions to the rule. Cool. So don’t say it. *lol* I want to know what you think. Would you or did you get married at 20? Know any 20 year olds ready for marriage? Let’s talk!
I say wait until you are at least 25 to get married. I know a few ppl from college who got married right after we graduated and they have celebrated 10+ wedding anniversaries with 2-3 kids. It worked for them, but if I had to advise a young couple on whether or not to get married…I’d say wait until you are 25. You’re a few years out of college, maybe even grad school, may have gotten a great job out of undergrad and have begun to get your grown man or woman on. 25 just seems to be a good age.
I blogged about this very topic, but I was much meaner than you. 🙂
I dunno…I know a few people who were quite young and got married and have done very well. Others, not so much. I was 27 when I got married (for the 2nd time…maybe that’s why I’m so jaded) and it seemed like a good age.
It’s hard to say with age I think. It’s what you’ve been exposed to that would determine if you are too young I would think.
Good questions. I think that if the country still thinks that you are not responsible enough to drink alcohol (legally), you are definitely not responsible enough to get married.
We live in a society where not only are people waiting longer to get married, but some people are choosing not to get married at all.
For those of us who want to get married, I think that once you know who you are, then find someone who accepts you for you and who you accept as they are then you should go ahead and do the thing. I, for one, don’t believe in long engagements, so once you get engaged, I’d be making wedding plans for something within the next year and a half.
I say,If you can let a man knock you up as a young adult, then you can get married as a young adult.
For most people, I think it takes two years before you know someone well enough to get married.
I think 18 or 19 is too young to get married. You have not lived or experienced life, but of course in certain cases it can definitely work. I think if you have not lived you are just going to end up having a mid-life crisis and start doing shit you should have done at 18 or 19.
Hi @ That Chick and Miz JJ – Thanks for stopping by!
@ Tndr – 25 sounds good.
@ That Chick – *lol* I just read your post. Too funny. I’ll be stopping by your spot.
@ Organized – I often wonder that. Too young to get drunk, but old enough to take a spouse? Doesn’t make much sense. Hangover’s wear off without too many side effects.
@ Beauty – Hmm, I don’t necessarily agree that because you have a baby you should get married.
@ Miz JJ – *lol* midlife crisis at 30. Whew!
Hubby and I were both 28, but we’d dated since high school. We matured and married when we felt ready for it. Can’t define it for anyone else, but we made good choices for us.
There are so many factors to consider here including what you think of the concept or ideology of marriage when you’re so young. I saw a show on that once. But let me think about this. Was I ready to get married at 20? Ummm…Hell No. I didn’t even know who I was. 25? Ummm…Hell no. I was very uhhh..active. Everything changed by time 28,29,30 rolled around.
http://tdj.baby!.youaremighty.com/
I think it is a case by case basis. I got engaged Sunday and I’m 33. I truly believe I wasn’t really ready until about 31. I thought I was at 28 but when I look back, i wasn’t. I needed to learn some more, go through some stuff, etc. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have if my prince had come along back then but I just think I’m better prepared to compromise and be more understanding whereas had I got married before 28, I’d probably be divorce or quite unhappy right now.
i say wait and get your life together before entering into marriage. it’s hard enough getting yourself together single, imagine trying to do all that being married bet 18-22 when you’re supposed to be in college or learning about life in general. I almost married at 23 and I’m so, so glad I didnt.
Hey! Thanks for visiting my blog. I love the show because it amazes me how in love these couples are at such a young age. Some are ready, some aren’t, but they took a chance.
Random Question: How do I upload my avatar to my profile?
I don’t think there’s a difference at what age you are getting married. as long you are happy and u know him/her ther’s nothing wrong. i knoe couples who got married youn and broke up and even which are married old and broke up. my mum was 35 till she got married write now she is so unhappy!