My inner circle knows me pretty well and I give them all the praise for their efforts. As they say, I’m a hard nut to crack. What you see if definitely what you get, but I’m really a bit of an extroverted introvert. I’m an only child and I am very comfortable in my own company. I have a great circle of diverse friends and I’ve been told it’s because I know how to be a friend. One of my bestest buds, Nae from , “I Choose The Sun” came across the audition info for the Listen To Your Mother DC show in early February. Knowing that this particular opportunity was all about timing and approach, she decided not to email me directly. Nope, instead, she forwarded the information to a large list serv of which we are both members. Yup, she was pushing in her gentle and subtle way. She knew that I would reject the idea had she sent it to me directly. Instead, I saw the email to the group, mulled it over for second, then said, “Why not?” before asking for an audition. **smh** Dang, I hate being predictable!
While emailing the fabulous producer, Kate from “The Big Piece of Cake“, I was slated for one of the last audition slots available. I received my date and time, which was about 3 weeks into the future. I hadn’t the slightest idea what I was going to write, but I hoped that some inspiration would strike soon. I’m a passion writer, so it’s hard for me to write until “the feeling” strikes me. It could strike at 4:21 am, in line at the grocery store, riding through the car wash or in the middle of a meeting at work. I carry around a small notebook and use the app Evernote. Shout out to the folks at last years Blogalicious conference who introduced me to Evernote.
Fast forward to a Saturday morning in February. T-minus 5 hours to my audition. Rolling around on the floor with LittleTDJ. My audition is at a location about an hour and 15 minute drive from home. Nothing written. Yes, you read that correctly. Not a single word on the page for what was supposed to be a five-minute audition piece. Tick tock, tick tock. T-minus 4 hours. MamaTDJ says, “So, what are you reading today for your audition? Something you’ve already written or something new?” I shrug nonchalantly and say, “Something new.” She gives me THAT look. Everyone knows THAT look. Ya know, the one that only mothers can give to their offspring when they are preparing to explain in full chapter and verse, just how crazy something you just said or did is. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve got to be in Gaithersburg at 2pm. The ride will take you at least an hour and a half. It’s 10am now. You haven’t showered, chosen an audition outfit or most importantly, written something to actually read at the audition. Do I have the facts correct?” I’m smiling at the memory as I write this. So, I did in fact, listen to my mother. I grabbed my laptop to start writing.
I was incredibly nervous, but meeting Kate and Stephanie, our fabulous director who blogs over at “Stephanie Says“, put me at ease. I never imagined that I would make the show. I did. And once in the company of the other amazing folks who were chosen, my nerves went in overdrive. Add that to the realization that I was actually going to have to read this very real, very personal essay on a stage. I was already freaking out and I didn’t yet know that LTYM National would be taking all the videos and making them available for the entire world to view a few months after the shows. Wow. What I blog about is often personal in nature, but there is no immediate reaction. I choose to hit the “publish” button, but I’m not present when any of you read what I write. LTYM was different. A live audience would be reacting (or not) to each word that I spoke. And then it would be preserved and broadcast on You Tube. Wow.
My nerves tried to get the best of me from February to the show date in April, but I fought them back each time. Deep inside my heart, I knew that I needed to do this no matter how uncomfortable. Did I have the courage to be a voice for others who need to be heard but are unable or unwilling to share their stories?
Yes, I did. Yes, I do. Here I go, reading a piece entitled, Peanut Butter and Jelly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK9usc-NJ7A&list=PL5oPQWgVdsDl46ELwaDBawRlETrox7uR3
You amaze me.
Wow, simply wow. This was so beautifully written and spoken. Keep doing what you do. You are a blessing to us all.
Thanks, CaliGirl.
that was beautiful…parents of black sons..I fully understand…
PB&J…love it.
Going to comment on FB also.
That was absolutely beautiful, I smiled, laughed and cried. You are amazing and I look up to you Taya!!
Parents of black sons, I live it everyday!
Thank you for sharing that with me.
Hugs,
Cira
I don’t often comment, because I’m never really sure what to say. Your reading was inspiring, beautiful, evoking, and lovely. Thank you.
You are so beautiful and strong which was portrayed in your words.
That was beautifully written and delivered! “Peanut butter with no jelly is hard as hell to swallow.” Kudos to you for sharing your story on such a public platform. I’m sure someone will find much needed strength from your words.
Wonderful and beautiful. Thanks for sharing this with us.
CONGRATS this was absolutely beautiful -I got teary eyed 🙂 Love it and you are wonderful for sharing the story.
Taya, you said everything that I felt when we learned that we were having a boy. Many hugs and lots of love. I’ll have to share this on my blog so people can understand…
That was so beautiful. It had poetry and rhythm. Like a singer with a big range who exercises restraint, this speech drove home your experience in such a deep and profound way. Honestly, I feel pain well up inside every time I read or think about you without your jelly. Girl, you have always been exceptional, in life, in school, in motherhood, in grief, and even in this message. Exceptional!
I hope you had a lovely birthday. I thought of you as I burned up at the shore.
Beautiful! If I haven’t told you, YOU ROCK!
Absolutely amazing!!
That was lovely Taya. Really beautiful.
That gave me goosebumps I, too, am raising a little black boy without his father, and I feel the exact same way you do… I heard my thoughts in your words. Thank you for sharing.
How awesome. As I wrap my mind around becoming a mommy, this was so timely. My husband and I were just talking about what it will mean to raise a Black boy in this world. Beautifully spoken!
I avoided listening to this for a bit because I knew I would cry. And cry, I did.
You, your words and your presentation of both – beautiful!
Just beautiful!!!
Amazing. My husband listened to it and said that he could tell you’re an amazing writer. You make me wanna burn my notebook.
Amazing. Just, amazing. I loved the piece and I love you! So great to finally hear your voice for the first time!
I have been thinking of you so much lately. I watched this again and feel the power of your words still.