Anyway, I’m working on a few posts, but what I saw tonight when I got home made me grab the laptop for a quick post.
Our home is small, but neat. My husband isn’t that handy around the house, especially in the yard work. With all the recent rain that we’ve had, our grass looks like this:
It’s kinda pitiful, I know. Hush! Prior to this year, there was a teenager three doors down who cut it every two weeks, but he’s gone away to college. I haven’t yet found another teenager to handle things.
Fast forward to this evening. As I’m coming in from work, Crack appears and chats me up a bit. After a minute or two, ya girl is ready to get in the house and take my damn stockings off. Crack claims that he knows someone with a lawnmower he can borrow and asks me if I want the grass cut. Uh, Crack, I think I lost my husband in there this morning. Of course I want the grass cut. So, I say yep, cut away.
Hubby arrives and we take a ride to go house hunting (more on that another day). When we return, this is what we see:
What in the Edward Scissorhands, blind grass cutting hell is this? There is no sign of Crack, but there is a collection of tools on the front porch:
Let’s take a closer look at the tools that Crack has chosen for this task:
A hand saw with half a handle? And what the hell was he planning on digging up? Where are the rest of the “fingers” to the rake? Lordie, lordie. My poor lawn. I laughed all the way into the house to get the digital camera. As you can see, this pic was taken at about 9pm and it was pretty dark out. The porch is only lit with motion lights and the entire yard is normally dark.
Crack hasn’t been back to finish, so he may have given up. Judging by the assembled tools, I don’t blame him. He’ll be back. If not tonight, then tomorrow. If you live in NE DC, lock up ya lawnmowers
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A DAMN HAND SAW???????? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OMG…I don’t have anything to say. Bwhahahahahaha!!!!
I am ova here DYING!!! You are LIE-ING!! Please tell me you are! Please, pretty please! We have a ‘Crack’ over here by me…always asking to wash cars and to do little ‘odd’ jobs. No, thanks! Might be the same ‘Crack’ you have. I’m sure he gets around!
See? I knew ya’ll would think I was lying. 🙂 That’s why I took the pictures.
@ Tndr – Girl, we only live a minute apart – it’s probably him. Does he stutter?
AHHHHHHHHH…WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!
Why did I bust out laughing so loud, I’m sure folks at work was like what is wrong with her LOL
Man I tell ya…hopefully he does a better job on the windows LOL
ok see I really needed a good laugh and this was it..
but hell to da naw.. not a hand saw!!!! hahahaaaaa
I just had to ‘say’ something…LOL!!! I can just picture u telling this story, that’s a good one!
TDJ, I laughed from deep in my belly just now! The grass on the walkway! And then the tools! LMAO.
Can’t wait to read the follow up!
LAAAAWWWWWWWDDDDDD…..
And just think, I just finished cutting my grass and was about to type a post on how I lack the green thumb.
But damn…you took the cake with this one….
What in the blue hell!? Maybe Crack was using the rusty saw like a weed wacker to get the detail work done??
DEAD at the pics!!
lol!!!
LOL! Po’ Crack. Hilarious.
Lol, nothing like somebody on crack, lol. Always on a whole different level, ha ha.
Good to see you back online.
MY GOD woman!!!! Ima stop reading u at work LMAO
“Edward Scissorhands”! Oh, insomnia is a good thing sometimes because I get to read stuff like that! I just almost fell off the bed laughing at the picture. What in the world!!
OMG! I am DYING!!!! this is too funny… i can’t handle…’adsf asfda f sa fasdf ds
I think I have completely dehydrated my body because I have cried all the tears I can and released all drool from my mouth from laughing at this one!! Me thinks I have to add you to my fav list. Look me up!!
OMG, I laughed and cried so hard at this post!!!! The combination of the 3 ragedy tools sent me over the edge. I don’t think my heart stopped racing for 20 minutes. Have ya’ll seen him since? We need an update…..and another good laugh!
LAWD! Just when I thought I had seent it all. A handsaw? What in the crack smoking hell? I guess you get what you pay for, but damn!
lmao! I’ve got the same crackhead in my neighborhood!!! NW or NE you can’t avoid them!
Veronica
http://www.veronicaheather.livejournal.com
Yeah, I have a local crack head who also does yard work for me, but I live in Shaw. He shows up at strange hours nshyt. Sometimes he has his own tools, but occasionally he’ll borrow mine. Thank God he always returns them!
L
That just got you added! That is funny as hell. On the bright side there ain’t a pride of lions waiting for you to stroll up ya sidewalk! Of course you can’t tell the sidewalk from the lawn but I ain’t picking no nits…
I won’t even comment on the tools. Probably why he abandoned them.
Mrs.TDJ,
Your stories never cease to amaze me. Can I tell you I am in my office “cracking ” the hell up!
You are crazy!